Tag: worth

Throwback Week: Letter to My Future Daughter

“Letter to My Future Daughter”

Hello to my Queen

Although it may hurt

I have to fill you in on some things

Before your precious steps grace this earth

But lets talk about you first — you & your nappy roots

and your big brown eyes and your thick lips too

Your chocolate skin and your hips, full & wide

No doubt God made a masterpiece and he made it in stride

Now I can’t leave out the parts that hurt baby girl,

The fact that society doesn’t always know your worth, this world…this world

This world can be a cold cold place to live in

Especially with your looks, your smarts and your skin

This world can stifle your pride or step on your rights

And even snuff out your life, like your sister Renisha McBride

People may think that your black body has no worth

Don’t cry baby girl, I told you it might hurt

And be careful with men and which one you end up with

Or he may bring you down before you can bring him up, like your sister Kemba Smith

And be careful with women too and who you call a friend

Some play wolves in sheep skin and only pretend to befriend

But I anticipate the things you’ll do in the classroom

from that first day of preschool to when you move into your dorm room

Although you may be judged and viewed as unintelligent

Use it as fuel, and work 10 times harder than all of them

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait till my queen comes,

But first I’ll admit, I gotta grow up some

And get my education & get my goals straight

And meet a strong black man to marry…and then, procreate

And you my queen, can be the first black female president, and run the nation

Or become a writer like your momma & work from your imagination

Or work from an office or work from the pulpit and become a preacher

Or give back to our children and become a teacher…

Although it may be hard to see the rose rise from the concreted

Never feel hopeless and never feel defeated

Because I’ll always love you & your nappy roots,

and your big brown eyes and your thick lips too

In honor of Renisha McBride

Throwback Week: What Happened to Sisterhood?

 

Staring a girl down and rolling your eyes at her because she has the car you always wanted. Judging a woman on her past and putting her in a box because of it. Not speaking to someone because you think she thinks she is better than you because of her complexion. What happened to sisterhood? Flirting with another woman’s significant other to spite her. Belittling someone’s accomplishments because you want what she has. Gossiping and spreading rumors about someone in hopes to ruin her reputation. What happened to sisterhood?

 

            Ladies, we have ALL got to do better. So many times, we fail to embrace our fellow woman. So many times, we rather see a woman doing bad than to see her doing well. It’s disgusting. But why do we do it? Out of curiosity, I decided to ask a few people I know about their thoughts on our cattiness. One woman says “Women are very jealous – like crabs in a barrel.” Another woman says “Women just want what other women have, especially when men get involved. That’s why we can’t get along. We don’t stick together.” And a man I know says “We [men] don’t do that.”

I stumbled across a wonderful quote by an American journalist that seems to get at an answer- “To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is, dissatisfaction with self.” I firmly believe this is the root of our problem. We aren’t happy with ourselves. When there’s something lacking with ourselves, we tend to compensate for it by putting someone else down – this is the wrong way to go about solving the problem; it’s YOUR problem, not theirs. Look at your self for a solution. If you aren’t happy with yourself, take the necessary steps for improvement. Make yourself better. And, let’s not forget to be each others loudest cheerleaders. Like Maya Angelou says, “When you know better, you do better.” I think we can do better, ladies. Don’t you?

Weekly Wisdom: Love Yourself Girl…Or Nobody Will

J. Cole may have said it in Crooked Smile…but everybody and their momma needs to not only be saying it…but living it as well.

 

People always say in a romantic sense that you can’t expect to have a significant other love you if you don’t have that same love for yourself. But this notion of self-love can’t be limited to romance.

Self-love means a lot of things, to me. It means caring about you, inside and out. Acknowledging your true feelings, indulging in things you’re truly passionate about and respecting your morals, no matter who or what tries to persuade you to go against them. On the outside, it means putting time (although not too much time) into your outward appearance and taking care of your body, among other things.

It’s not always easy and we all slip up from time to time. But with time and some self-reflection (time by ourselves), we can do it. We’re all capable of loving ourselves. If we don’t do it, if we don’t love and respect ourselves, those around us (not just significant others/ love interests) won’t do it, either.

And what does that look like? Being called out your name. Becoming objectified and minimized to a sexual object. People losing respect for your space and your personal time. Those you care about ignoring your opinions and belittling your views. Negativity and doubtfulness being spewed out of the mouths of the ones you thought loved you the most…or even from complete strangers. You may not treat those around you so callously, but the way you approach yourself gives them the okay to treat you in such a way.

 

Don’t want to be treated like that? Look upon yourself with worth and with dignity. Do yourself a favor before you do anything  for anyone else, and love. Not the person you’ve been seeing, not your friend, not your neighbor or your co-worker…but the person staring back at you in the mirror. Nobody else is going to do it for you.

 

 

Peace, Love & Consciousness

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Kiara