Tag Archives: struggle

For the Ones that Ain’t Here

man-person-school-head

His notebook was his canvas

He painted such a beautiful world

Such an artist

Drawing with his words and with his verbs

Not quite like the chalk drawing that outlined his body in the crime scene on the street curb

When his momma heard

She screamed and

She fell to her knees and

Called on Jesus

Then with God she begged and she pleaded

Not for her son and

Not for her self

But she prayed for the world and all that it needed

Defeated by

The laws of the hood

The politics of the block

Life on the corner and

This street and that set law and order

Momma said do good and

Momma said live right and

Momma said say your prayers every day and every night

But Momma didn’t tell him about the wrong side of town or

How to act or a plan of attack for

When the goons come around

He passed and some weeks passed too

And then one night all of sudden and out the blue

Momma took his notebook out of his room and

She flipped through the pages and she looked to the moon

Then she apologized for speaking too soon and

For letting her son believe the world was so beautiful

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Pills

 

PILLS

Your heart beats strong

God let it be

You are blessed and you

You

You Are loved

But to you, love is

how much of life you can miss

sleeping it all away

Sleeping on your youth

And the dawn and

The day

I pray:

Lord, may your hands put the pills

Up in a place far far away

I hate the sound they make in her purse

I hate it in the worst

Way

It’s the worse way to waste

borrowed time you can not make stay

I can not just say STOP TAKING THEM

I know God I know I know

it doesn’t work that

Way

But God, just listen

I know it may sound

twisted when

I say I’m so conflicted with

My emotions

Do you know what I mean when I say I’m

Stuck somewhere in between

being optimistic and

being realistic

about her disease and

about her need

I need answers

Please.

How did she get this?

Addicted.

For the Ladies: “The Plan”

The Plan

by Danaya

man and woman EDIT

How can I trust the plan when the plan has caused so much pain?

Broken hearts and souls torn apart all in the plans name?

But everything happens for a reason at least that’s what I’m told

So I try to accept that and hold on to hope even when it’s dark and cold

It is not easy and I’m often filled with doubt

I just don’t understand why my plans never work out

Like a few years back I knew I was in love

Yea we had our problems but struggle…no one is above

Our relationship wasn’t healthy Abusive if I’m being honest

But my little one could have been enough to make him keep his promise

I know it sounds irrational and maybe it wouldn’t have worked

But maybe my baby would have given me the strength to walk away before it got worse

That piece of me could have been enough to heal my tattered soul

The agony of that loss is buried in the story never told

Maybe the plan was for the relationship to end

But did it have to include taking a life before it could begin?

How can I trust the plan when the plan has caused so much pain?

Broken hearts and souls torn apart all in the plans name?

But everything happens for a reason At least that’s what I’m told

So I try to accept that and hold on to hope even when it’s dark and cold

It is not easy and I’m often filled with doubt

I just don’t understand why my plans never work out

A few years pass and I trust a man for the first time in my life

He shares plans of making me his wife

From the first conversation I knew we would last

Building a future by discussing the past

I never let anyone in so he invited me out

I stepped out of my shell I let go of my doubts

He unpacked my baggage and checked my insecurities

He mended the breaks of my heart on my sleeve

He handled me with care until the moment he stopped

I guess his forever meant until he decided to walk off

So, how can I trust the plan when the plan has caused so much pain?

Broken hearts and souls torn apart all in the plans name?

But everything happens for a reason At least that’s what I’m told

So I try to accept that and hold on to hope even when it’s dark and cold

It is not easy and I’m often filled with doubt

I just don’t understand why my plans never work out

I had plans of genuine love and affection

Of inseparable bonds and intimate connections

Of raising my child to love better than I

Of experiencing a forever that transcends time

To trust the plan is a difficult task

To say it all was necessary…all of my painful past?

My broken heart and souls torn apart all in the plans name?

How can I trust the plan when the plan has caused so much pain?

Danaya

Danaya’s “The Plan” is part one of a three part series. For more, follow Danaya’s Blog here.