Stop Looking


Because we women too often look to everything and everyone else but ourselves…to find and define ourselves

Stop looking for her

In between the lines and

Squeezed behind the confines of

The words of others

She feels no need to hide her unfinished pages

Her book is still in progress and

Writing is a process so

She takes her sweet time

Stop looking for her

In a man’s lustful gaze

In his validation, in his temptation and

His inclination toward what’s on her outside

He can go sit down somewhere because trust

She’ll be just fine

And if chivalry don’t pull out her chair before he pulls out his or if

Chivalry don’t give her no goodnight kiss she’ll

Pull out her own chair and sit where she wants to sit

Chivalry died but she still sleeps at night and

Before she closes her weary eyes

God always tells her He loves her anyway

Stop looking for her

In her accolades or in her titles or

In her degrees

When the dust settles underground and

When she is no longer around, what does a piece of paper in a pretty frame really even mean?

In life, all that forms above ground will eventually cease

Only to return through the trees and

Through the breeze and the dirt but

How she gonna enjoy her stay if she’s too high on hierarchy to come back down to earth?

Stop looking for her

In other places other than

Where you should have looked already

Just because you think you’re not ready for

Who you may find

Dig deeper

Some extra help

Something like a search and rescue mission

but this one’s for your damn self

An Amber Alert, a missing person’s case

You better do something different before it’s too late

Til They Can’t Bleed No More

Til they Can’t Bleed No More

defeat pic edited

There’s a young black woman somewhere who will never exercise her right to vote because she has absolutely no want or (in her opinion) need to do so. She’s criticized for what most would call ignorance, but what she simply calls living her life. The masses put her down for the slap in the face she’s giving the trailblazers before her, the people who sacrificed themselves, both literally and figuratively for black voting rights. Yet and still, she knows no different, all she knows is that her vote and her voice are mute and moot. Spiritually spent, yet perfectly content.

Defeat is a way of life for her and many many others.

So many people are defeated. Down and out. Out for the count. And it’s easy to dismiss them. They’ve given up, you say. They’ve taken the L, you say. They’ve lost the fight without even trying to get a lick in, you say.

It’s significantly easier to label helplessness as weakness than to take the time to find out what exactly has torn down our brothers and sisters, and how and why they have been robbed of their thunder. The power of oppression, the long lasting effects of history and institutionalized degradation are all underestimated to the umpteenth degree on a daily basis.

The fight for equal voting rights for blacks was (and many will argue, still is) a long and arduous fight. Lives were snuffed out and voices were drowned out. People like Jimmie Lee Jackson were physically shut up – young Jimmie killed and his frail and elderly grandfather nearly beaten to death in 1965 – for rallying for equal voting rights in Selma, Alabama. With the close relationship between advocating for equal voting rights and punishment and even death, who is to question black apathy toward such an alleged natural right? And when this apathy transfers to the 21st century, it can turn into complete disassociation. You have a young woman with no interest to vote…because she never learned anything about it. Her mother never took her to the voting booth…because her parents never took her to the voting booths…because their parents were threatened with lynching if they even spoke of voting or the NAACP or anything related to forward thinking for blacks in the Jim Crow south.

It runs deep.

Some people’s spirits are intact while others have been broken, broken again and beaten, over and over again, ‘til they can’t bleed no more. I’m talking about the broken spirit. Treat it the same way as you would a wingless bird. A wingless bird — full of potential, but also, full of defeat. A defeat as heavy as a ton of bricks.

So next time you’re so quick to judge, chastise and turn your nose up to people you consider to be less progressive, or less conscious or less educated than you, tie a ton of bricks to your back and try to fly.

Weekly Wisdom: Everybody Needs to Get Uncomfortable

It’s so easy to get used to routine – and the comfort, the predictability and the stability it offers. While routine can be a good thing, it isn’t always.

We can get too comfortable. We can get too complacent with things and we can ultimately, lower our standards. It may be a relationship that isn’t fulfilling that you choose to stay in, simply because of the history you may have with your partner. You may find it easier to deal with the shortcomings of your relationship than being along or meeting new people. Or it could be a job you’ve been putting up with for years that you really hate. It may be stifling your growth or limiting your potential, but the comfort of knowing the job like the back of your hand seems to outweigh the negative.

Everybody likes to be comfortable. And some people (like me) can be pretty resistant to change. It’s normal. But our need to be comfortable can hurt us.

Everybody needs to get uncomfortable.

It’s the only way to grow. When you begin to rid yourself of lacking relationships, you can figure out what it is that you really want. What truly makes you happy and complete. If you try branching out from your mediocre job, you may find another position that lets you shine the way you deserve to shine. But growth will never happen if you don’t let yourself grow…and let your comfort go.

I can safely say I’m in the most uncomfortable stage in my life thus far. I’m on an educational/ career path I never imagined I’d take. I’m more independent than I’ve ever been. And in the past year, I’ve done things I never thought I’d do (mistakes included). And as I’m beginning to figure out what my next steps will be, I know it’s about to get even more uncomfortable. And let me tell you, I wasn’t very happy about this discomfort. Even now, I’m not ecstatic about it…but I do see so much positive, so much growth in it all.

Being mediocre is like that beat up pillow you’ve had forever. It doesn’t give you the best rest, but hey, it’s been around and it does the job.  Being extraordinary is the queen’s throne. Everybody wants the throne, but you have to be willing to give up that beat up pillow first.

Peace, Love & Consciousness



Weekly Wisdom: You Are What You Think

At work the other day, I had a middle schooler tell me that he probably wouldn’t get accepted into college. At the age of 14, he already claimed a future. A future tainted with defeat.


I had a fit. I told him to never say that he couldn’t go to college. Or that he couldn’t do anything else.


Self-doubt is among us all, not just him. Unfortunately, it’s something I’ve done quite a lot in my own life. I catch myself often saying “Oh, I can’t wear something like that” or “I wouldn’t be able to do that” or “I don’t think I’d do well working as a ____.”


In the last few years or so, my mom (who receives the brunt of my self-doubting rants) has been underlining the idea of thinking – what you think of yourself versus what your reality is like. She says things like “keep thinking like that and you will fail,” or “with an attitude like that you’ll prove yourself right and things won’t work out for real.” I would just shrug or come up with an excuse for my negative attitude, but honestly, she’s right.


Vibes, energy and (if you’re spiritual like me) God are all around us. And our inner thoughts and feelings are as well. When we think negatively, we’re tainting our surroundings – our environment, our air. I don’t know about you, but if I have the choice, I don’t wanna breathe in some stank air. That stank air is gonna dirty everything else up inside of you when you breathe it in and before you know it…you’re contaminated. And you’ve contaminated yourself.


Believe me you, there’s enough dirty air or negative energy being emitted from the words and actions of others to go around. There’s always somebody rolling their eyes at you in envy, or judging you negatively based on assumptions, or acting ill toward you in some way due to their own insecurities. The world is polluted enough. Don’t pollute yourself any further with doubt, defeat, intimidation or discouragement.


Use your head. Paint your own picture…and paint it beautifully.


Peace, Love & Consciousness,



Weekly Wisdom: Worry is Worthless

We all have worried time and time again — from worrying about health, finances, work, school and other things. But what about when you let worrying consume you? To the point where it blocks your happiness, sickens your soul or even perhaps, your body? 

Someone reading this knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about. I know I do…because…well, I’m a worrier. The queen of worrying. If you know me personally, you can surely attest to this. But as I get older and as I have recently been blessed with 24 years of life, I’m *slowly* learning (truly learning, not just hearing it from someone) that worrying DOES NOT change anything. Worrying will not get you accepted into your dream school. Worrying will not turn around a terminal illness. Worrying will not write you a check for the back rent you owe your landlord, either. But what worrying will do is taint your spirit, weaken your willpower and block your blessings.

When I worry, I think of all the worst-case scenarios — what if this happens, what if that doesn’t happen — and I obsess. All the while, life is passing me by. This is what happens when we ALL worry — life passes us by. Blessings, progress and other beautiful moments are often overshadowed by worry. Life is so fragile, so short and so precious; don’t miss out on the positive life has to offer us just because you’ve been dealt a bad hand. You’d be short changing your own self. Short changing yourself — let that one seep in.

Life can be HARD. There’s no denying that. If you’re spiritual like me, you know faith can conquer all. If you’re not, you certainly know there’s no harm in a (realistic) positive outlook.

Concern is one thing, but worry is another. Worrying is worthless. Ain’t nobody got time for that. 


Peace, Love & Consciousness ,