I’ll be good if he changes. I’ll be alright when he gets his act together. After he grows up some and matures, then I’ll be happy. If and when and then. Forget the conditions and forget putting off your happiness. What about right now?
Happiness is a state of being, meaning it has a start and can have an end. So many of us put off the start of our happiness for the sake of a significant other. And it just ain’t right.
We do it because we’re hopeful for change. We’re trusting that the negative in a person will go away, no matter how long we endure the pain and suffering this person’s negativity may bring us. Hope is great; I think being hopeful is a necessity for a healthy life. All in the same breath, compromising your happiness for another, who seems to fail you more than support and complement you, is not being hopeful. It’s being foolish and stupid. And it’s a waste of time. But that’s just me.
I see this all the time with people I know and have to an extent, been there before myself in the past. We have to ask ourselves a simple question: Why are we compromising our own happiness for someone who could care less about the way we feel? It takes some soul-searching and some serious introspection to get to that question, let alone to get to the answer…and accept it. It may hurt and it may sting. But whatever it takes to show you the light…is whatever it takes.
You can defer or put off a job acceptance, because you have work to finish up at your old job before you can start the new one. You can defer a college offer, maybe because something came up and you can’t start at the same time as the rest of your class. But the time is ALWAYS right for your happiness. We only get one shot at this thing called life; none of us have time to NOT have the time.
Peace, Love & Consciousness,
Kiara
Dr. Kiara Shanay Lee 